what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
