They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
