Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
We don't watch enough power rangers
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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