Christians are straight up FREAKS
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
