Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Randomize
