You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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