there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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