Apparently you make a good broom.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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