Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
