i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
worst night to have a conscience
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
