for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
