weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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