If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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