I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'm too high and old for this...
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I love you.
Bad choice
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
