Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
