Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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