Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
