you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
