I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Randomize
