I think my fart just growled at me.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
