Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
