I wanna bring you to show and tell
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
