yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
