I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
