and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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