the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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