Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
