That's intense
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize