Just fell off a train. Bad.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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