3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
