Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
