i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
