is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
