walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
