if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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