she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
you didnt know i had herpes?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
