Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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