That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
