sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
