we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I think your dad took our porno
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
