One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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