Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Randomize
