I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
