One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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