i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Quick, to the slutcave!
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
