i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
