just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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