Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
