every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
