We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Randomize
