You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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