i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
