Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
