I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
